I thought my father abandoned me but I now know:
that the moon is my father
I have his pockmarked skin
I inherited his unphotogenecity; in photographs his blazing magnificence shrinks, reduced to ember
I love him, he did all he could from his place in the sky
just as I was getting comfortable again
just as I was thinking, “it is so awkward being intimate after a fight” you stroked my hair to signal me to let my guard down, become me again because say you missed her
an hour or so later I noticed the mattress was off of the box springs and thought, “lol how would that even happen” so I asked you. this is what led to you putting me down by being annoyed at me for “asking weird questions, why do you always need to know random things???”
I cannot even ask innocuous questions without being made to feel like an annoyance.
I know you dislike me; I know you resent me.
I cannot be me with you.
how do I travel the many miles to you when you are lying on the other side of the bed
how do I transfer the ravenous appetite reserved for me in other men into you
how do I sever my incessant and unrequited penchant for you at its root while keeping careful so as to not disturb the love
my love was wasted today
I shaved myself smooth, painted my lips purple, and became a schoolgirl
he started to pretend but with my own eyes I saw his body limp and unresponsive
humiliated with my love dripping down my legs, I hurried to the bathroom to wipe it off
the next morning I awoke to him groping me out of feigned hunger
Meaning is subjective, and as such, every single thing has the capacity to mean nothing and everything all at once.
The love of your life is an extra in someone else’s life story; the day your world was turned upside down is to someone else a day so ordinary it conjures no emotion.
via Daily Prompt: Meaningless
While there are times I am so depressed that even getting out of bed to shower – or worse, leave the house – feels like a chore so monumental it inspires within me dread, I am internally in agreement that life is fucking beautiful! An experience, a work of art!
I am the ONE sperm out of how many that vied for the title of “zygote”?! The odds were so stacked against my existence – but here I am! I am able to experience a completely healthy and functional human life on a planet entirely able to sustain my every need. I am able to enjoy the taste of delicious food, savor the emotional roller coaster on which a good book will send you, bask in the touch of someone who genuinely loves me, and appreciate post-yoga highs. I feel it is for these reasons and those alike that I am able to bare even the brunt of depression – I can still eat chocolate when it’s over.